Confession # 84

I love having teenage nieces.

Just when I thought dating could not get any more bizarre, my nieces introduced me to www.rejectionhotline.com.

This is a website that gives Mr. Go Away Now a phony telephone number, which is answered by someone, who sound a lot like the “MovieFone” guy, and tells Mr. Go Away Now, that he has been rejected.

It is hysterical!

The website gives out fake phone numbers many different area codes across the country. California alone has four!

So memorize the number Bad Girls, because it will be a good tool to keep in your pocketbook of tricks, but it will be even a better to know by heart in case it is slipped to you.

WHY I AM GOING TO PHILADELPHIA

My ex-husband’s stepfather passed away yesterday morning.

It is very sad. He was very sweet, wonderful and extreme loving man. I am going to miss him.

So now I am on a plane flying 3000 miles to be with a family I no longer belong to (at least legally). I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea how to behave, or what my place is. To make matters even more uncomfortable, the new girlfriend is going to be there.

I am actually going to meet her after seven months.

Honestly—that is what has me scared to death. But I will handle myself with grace and dignity. I will be humble and strong. I will be respectful and kind. I will take my place as guest, a friend who is there to mourn the lost of a dear man.

I DID IT!!!!

Now I am in O’Hare waiting for my connection into Philadelphia, there is a cute guy sitting across from me talking on the phone. Apparently he is coming from Auckland, New Zealand and has been traveling for a week.

I am going to talk to him. Waiting, waiting, waiting for the right moment—NOW!

Okay here is his story. He is Professor at the University of Delaware (good-educated, smart), he is divorced after 13 years of marriage (good-something in common), he has two girls (good-I only date men with children… well that is rule I made, but it is not steadfast), he lives in Baltimore, MD (bad-I live in California), he is developing a high power telescope in Antarctica (bad-he is there six month out of the year!)

He took my cell number and told me he would call and check in with me this week and if my trip is too intense, he will take me out for a drink! (good-this trip is going to be very stressful and a respite from family drama would be welcomed).

Confession # 83

I am a huge giant wimp!

In any normal situation I can talk to anyone, anyone! I can go up to a complete stranger and ask them to tell me their life story and without fail they will reveal every tiny detail of their life as if they have known me forever. As if we are lifetime buddies who met at birth and only now have been reunited.

But if I am attracted to some someone, forget it. I cannot say a word. I cannot even ask for the time.

Right now, RIGHT NOW! I am sitting in the bar at SFO right next to, RIGHT NEXT TO! a very handsome man with no wedding ring and I cannot even ask for one of his French fries! I totally want one of his French fries!

What is wrong with me?

One of my friends suggested I go to the mall and pretend to take survey and just ask random men random questions, as if I was taking a survey. This would make it easier to approach men I am attracted to!

Was he not listening! I could do that now problem. I could to the mall and ask every single person in there where they were born, what is there biggest turn on, and how many children the want to have. But if he is someone I want to actually know the answers to these questions FORGET IT!

Okay I will start slow. I will ask for the time.

11:03 PM

It is 11:03 PM

Damn it! Still no French fries!

Where is my waitress? I need another Martini and my own fries!

Confession # 82

Some days I like nothing better than sitting on the couch and vegging. Today is one of those days.

I can feel a bit of a cold coming on; the Christmas craziness is over; I sent my daughter to her father’s for the week; and my house is somewhat clean; so now I am just sitting on my couch with Shaggy; eating cereal for dinner and watching one of the best movies of all times.

Beautiful Girls.

I may just lie here all week watching this movie until Timothy Hutton comes and to picks me up on Friday to go to the City for the weekend so we can ring in the New Year.

Confession # 81

I do not believe in Soulmates.

But I am worried that I just might have one and he is a DORK!

Confession # 80

I LOVE CALLER ID!

I just got a phone call from "Mr. All that and a Bag of Chips"

How many phone calls do you think I have to avoid before he doesn't call again.

One would have thought that when he leaned in to give me a kiss the other night and I gave him the cheek he would have got the message. I guess I should answer the phone and tell him I just want to be friends. I hate that conversation because it is not true!

My friend Jeff told me, he will call a girl 3 times before he gives up.

Call one: Check in and test the water
Call two: Reminder call just in case call one got pushed to the back burner due to busy schedule. (that could happen)
Call three: One last effort.

I will wait it out. If I get a fourth call, I will answer the phone and dust off the "Let's be Friends" speech.

Bad Girl Christmas

Tonight I went out with my Bad-Girl-Friends, had a round and exchanged our Secret Santa Gifts.

My gift—an awesome plate that says, “So many men… so few who can afford me!”

I think I am gong to make that me new tag line.

Hope your gifts this Christmas are just as perfect for you!

Confession # 79

I don’t want to play “The Dating Game!”

I went out on a date tonight with a guy who talked all about “The Game.” The three rules for his game were simple he said; act, dress, and impress! Be in control, take charge, tell the woman (me) what she wants, dress as if you have been thinking all day how to be her (my) best accessory, impress her (me) with a complete knowledge of her (my) inter thoughts and find true connection.

This guy was so lost in the game, he did not even notice that after the third martini I had stopped listening to him and started flirting with the guy at the other end of the bar.

I don’t know, maybe some women, with very low self esteem would go for that, but not me. I want someone who is upfront, says what he means and means what he says.

I WANT A MAN NOT A GUY!

Take charge if that is who you are, but don’t think for me. Dress nice and neat, but do it for you. I already picked out what I want to be my best accessory (tonight it was a pair Donald J Pliner boots with just a touch of fur at the top), impress me by noticing my eyes and not my breasts! Or at least my boots! ☺