It’s 5 o’clock somewhere…

I have had contractors in and out my house all week preparing for final inspections.

Painters moving furniture, plumbers cutting holes in wall and forcing the painters to come back, electrician turning on and off the power, landscapers laying sod, only to have to relay it since Shaggy dug it up.

I just want to scream, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! But No! I will settle for the biggest glass of vodka I can find!

It has to be 5 o’clock somewhere!

BrazenlyBad's Fatal Flaw

Microsoft’s Online Dictionary defines the word “categorize” as follows:

TO PLACE SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING IN A PARTICULAR CATEGORY AND DEFINE OR JUDGE THE PERSON OR THING ACCORDINGLY

I have been criticized for doing just this!

How does one not categorize things? It is how we put order in our lives. It is how we make decisions. It is how we define ourselves.

Now… If I were making snap judgments about things and categorizing them, I could see some validity in this criticism, but I am not. What I am doing is trying to make some sense out of the craziness I have found myself in.

Last night I saw the movie “Match Point” (Very Good! Excellent actually) I was drawn to this movie by its trailer, more specifically these words—Between Love and Lust, Between All and Nothing.

These words hooked me into the movie, because I don’t like being in between… I want to know where I stand. I like things defined. I could be at either end and be fine or moving from one end to another, but stuck in between is uncomfortable and waste of my time.

Friend, Date, Lover, Partner, Boyfriend
Causal Sex, Torrid Affair, Serious Relationship.
Beginning, Middle, End, Past

These are the Categories! Any combination can be spontaneous, exciting, fun, boring, challenging, horrible, or great. Any combination I am open to. Any combination may or may not work for me depending on who negotiate a deal with.

I guess the criticism goes to my reluctance to negotiate a deal or to my content to sit on the bench and study the crowd and not work it; because whether I categorize or not… I cannot have any combination of the above if I just sit here making snap judgments about potential dealmakers.

Okay I get.

Confession # 88

I have phone numbers in my mobile and I do not even know whom they belong to.

Last night while at dinner I was calling my friends to find out exactly where they were in the restaurant, and I noticed an entry in my phone for someone named Kevin.

Kevin????
Who the hell is Kevin?

Is he one of my contractors?
Is he the father of one of my daughter’s friend’s who gave me his number “Just in Case of an Emergency” as part of standard play date protocol?
Or worse someone I dated a couple of times and just forgot to erase their number out of my phone?

I have a few others too. I also have a Brad, a Mike and a Chuck. No Clue!

The easiest thing I guess would be to delete them, but what if they are important numbers, and I need to call them someday and this is the only record of these guys’ numbers that I have.

I guess will risk it. If they are numbers from a contractor or a play date’s dad, I can always get the number again. If they are the numbers from suitors gone bad, it is good to get rid of them. Clean house!

I should probably do that with my email address book too.

Birthday Wish!

Someone asked me today if I had made my birthday wish yet.

The answer is no I really don't have much to wish for. I have it pretty good. But it got me thinking. What is a wish really? Is it hoping for something that seems impossible, or is it hoping for something that we believe we deserve but cannot get any other way than asking some magic cosmic force to help achieve it.

At the age of 39, I don't think I believe in wishes any more. I believe in me. And If I am going to hope for something that seems impossible or something I deserve, I am going to set forth a plan and make it happen.

That is how it is suppose to work right?

Wrong!

Butterflies & Lady Bugs. Now wishes or plans required.

Confession # 87

Today is my Birthday.

I woke up early to have a few quiet moments to think about the upcoming year before my daughter and Shaggy wake up and the festivities ensue.

Since my birthday is in January, I wait until today to make all of my resolutions.

Standard Resolutions (I actually keep these)
1) Read one GOOD book and one Trash Novel a month (Kudos if there are one in the same)
2) Lose Holiday weight gain
3) Keep all appointments with my Trainer, unless either one of us are ill.
4) Walk Shaggy everyday.
Hard Ones
1) Balance checkbook every month
2) Save money!
3) Don’t obsess over anything
Impossible but I write them down anyway
1) Don’t fight with the Ex
2) Be more patient with Stupid People (Okay see… Not looking good for this one)
3) Don’t bite off more than I can chew—learn to say “NO”

Hopes and Dreams for my New Year.

BE HAPPY! ENJOY MY LIFE, MY FAMILY and MY HOME

All the other pieces will fall into place.

(I never ask for True Love… I don’t want to jinx it, but yeah that too, wrapped in a little blue box with a white ribbon)

Now I am off to conqure the world! AGAIN!

Confession # 86

I take surveys.

All women do. It is part of our nature.

Hardly a day goes by when my phone doesn’t ring without one of my friends asking me what I think about a situation and then proceeds to compare my answer, opinion or suggestion against all the others she has received so far.

“Do you think I should wear the green shoes with my gold dress or the black ones. Sandy says black what do you think?”

“Do you think Tiffany is still mad at me? She ran out of Starbucks without so much as a look in my directions. Alisa says she was just in a hurry, but Catherine told me she was certain she knew I was there.”

“My (husband/boyfriend/guy I am dating) asked me a strange question, what do you think it means? Yeah, that is what Lisa said too.”

I guess the real question is, why do we take surveys?

We all know the correct answer…

NO WE SHOULD NOT GO OUT WITH THAT GUY!

NO WE SHOULD NOT BUY A PAIR Of $600 SHOES!

NO… NO… NO…

But we take the survey anyway. We take it to find that one person who will give us the answer we are fishing for, the answer we want to hear.

That one person who says, sure why not, that sounds like a good idea. That one person who encourages us to give into our temptations. That one person who validates our stupidity.
That one person who understands that “The Heart Wants What It Wants,” even when all logic and common sense says otherwise.

I am in the middle of a survey. A survey I really don’t need to take, because I know what the correct answer should be. A survey I know that no one will give me the answer I am fishing for. A survey I cannot even include the opinions of my best friends because they would kill me.

I am in the middle of a survey that once all the data is in I will ignore. Because like I said before, “The Heart Wants What It Wants!”

Confession # 85

I have never traveled farther than 45 miles for a date.

It just seems sort of weird to me, but with Internet-Dating becoming more and more popular it seems like more people are booking flight across the globe to meet potential partners. Relationships are hard enough when you live in the same town, I can not imagine how a relationship could possibly have a chance if a plane ride is required. But, apparently I am missing out!

Over the holidays, I know of at least 3 people who did this.

After two months of emails and phone calls and one friend flew to LA to meet a girl he met on Match.com. He was flying down there to celebrate Christmas with his family, so why not. (Because it is crazy, that’s why not) It turns out the girl was older than she let on, past baby making age (whole other weird story), and not as attractive and the picture that was obviously taken when she was younger and of baby making age.

After a couple of weeks of sexual emails and text messages, another friend got in his car and drove to Seattle to meet a girl he knew in college, but had lost contact with. She sent him a “Hey You” message and he got all excited, but once there he could not even hold her hand. Too much build up.

And just so you don’t think these frequent travelers are all men, one of my girlfriends who after several months of emails, phone calls and even a brief visits from her potential partner in her home country of Peru, hopped a plane here to marry the guy. Well after a few weeks of out right wicked scary episodes, involving police and restraining orders, she is hopping a plane back home to start all over again.

I don’t get it!

Would I hop on a plane to meet some one? Probably not—but you know what they say never say never.

2005 REFLECTIONS

(not listed in any particular order)

FRIENDS INTO LOVERS/LOVERS INTO FRIENDS
Both are tricky, and I am not ready to do either one yet.

BUYING A BEAUTIFUL YET RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE PAIR OF SHOES TRULY CAN MAKE A BAD SITUATION BETTER

BEING ALONE DOESN’T MEAN BEING LONELY

PREPARE FOR THE BEST! DRESS FOR THE UNEXPECTED

NEVER BLOW THE CHANCE TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM OR JUST MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU.
Even if you cannot stand them today!

LONGING FOR WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN IS A WASTE OF TIME.

ONCE SOMEONE SAYS IT’S OVER, YOU DON’T OWE THEM ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

SLEEPING IN IS NOT A CRIME!

GOING TO THE GYM IS NOT AN OPTION— IT IS A REQUIREMENT.

GOOD FRIENDS ARE THE ONLY KIND OF FRIENDS TO HAVE.

(more to come... )

NYE in NYC

Since I was back east for New Year’s Eve, it was suggested that we travel to New York for dinner.

It was snowing so I was slip sliding all over the place in my new (yes another new pair) of Donald J. Pliner boots.

The restaurant was bring your own wine, so not being with my normal gang of wine snobs I had to settle for what Bridge and Tunnerlers grabbed from the assortment of wines they received over the holiday season. This included a bottle of “2 Buck Chuck” Merlot and a bottle of “Tuning Leaf” Zinfandel.

Bad Wine! Bad Weather! Bad Choice of Shoe! GREAT COMPANY!

I had the best time, it was exciting, fun, crazy, TV sitcom turned reality.

NYE in NYC! Everyone needs to do it once. I will definitely do it again!