Are you naked? And other stupid questions men ask.

I have pulled myself off of Match.com because for the most part, I have only met total and complete losers or pigs! The last one took the cake.

This guy (classic over-compensator) tried to pass himself off as a sexual god, when in fact he was just a nasty little horn dog. He would ask me to tell him something personal about myself. Something so he could get to know the real me. Once I would give in, he would turn it into some lewd sexual advance. I just rolled my eyes and imagined this guy sitting in front of his computer looking at porn sites and jacking off because he could never pleasure a real woman.

When are men going to learn that slow and steady wins the race?

I don’t know a single woman, a single one, who is attracted to overt sexual advances. Anticipation is what gets our juices flowing, or in pig language—GETS US WET!

Here is a little helpful hint to men:

When you are trying to woo a woman, whether it be for a meaningful relationship or a hot & heavy sexual romance DO NOT...

…ask her if she is naked—it will only guarantee that you will never see her naked.

…ask her about her bra & panties—I personally only bring out the good stuff for the man who has earned it. Tidy Whities are not part of my wardrobe, as you all know, but the idiot who ask me about my undies may, if he is lucky, get to see my Victoria Secrets peeking over my jeans, but he will never undress me from my La Perla!

…ask her what her bra size is! It’s rude, and for the well endowed it is embarrassing and for less than endowed it is embarrassing. DON’T ASK! They are all perfect.

…ask her to send you pictures of herself. Very few women take boudoir pictures of themselves and most who do have NO business doing so. Also, don't ask her if she wants to see nude pictures of you. She doesn't.

Don’t be stupid… Don’t be lewd… Don’t be rude…

Be respectful… Be patient… Be a gentleman…

Remember slow and steady. Anticipation.

That is what all women want—every single one!