For Your amusement…

My Top 5 Worst Dates in May!

Date # 1 The Gay Guy—I went out on a date with this man who on the phone and in his pictures seemed very manly, but when I showed up, it turned out he was gay! Gay but does not know he was gay.

When dinner was served, he looked at me and said, “This looks simply scrumptious.” I cannot say that and not feel gay!

He then went on to tell me about how perfectly neat my toenails were done. He was impressed how the polish was nicely distributed on the nail bed. ???????? Girls don’t even notice that!

Date # 2 The Guy with No Teeth—I swear no teeth! Call me shallow, but I like teeth. They don’t have to be your own, just in your mouth. Preferably white.

I use to have these really high standards.

Good Looking
Have a Job
Be Patient
Be Fit
Good with Children
Emotionally Balanced.

Now it is just MUST HAVE TEETH—and is with good with children.

Okay, I only had two really bad dates, but they are big ones so they should count as five, and frighteningly May is not over yet.