Confession # 14
I do not believe there is such a thing as a committed relationship.
Maybe I am just cynical, or maybe I am still in a funk about Valentine’s Day, but I have decided I will not commit myself to a man unless I am 100% positive he is committed to me. And I will only be convinced of that if he agrees to a 24/7 surveillance detail and to wear an electronic ankle bracelet. This is why….
After spending all day at home yesterday moping about Monday’s contrived holiday, I decided to take advantage of the break in the weather and have lunch with my girlfriend. She has been dating this guy for about 6 months, and even though all of us know there is something just not right about this guy, she has convinced herself he is the one.
Anyway, she is showing me pictures he sent to her of a ski weekend he took with his buddies, buddies she still has yet to meet. She is cooing over these pictures (he is very cute) when all of a sudden a girl walking back to her table from the bathroom yells,
“Where did you get those?!?”
We look around the restaurant because we cannot believe she is talking to us, but sure enough the girl is standing there pointing at the pictures in my friend’s hand and demands to know again,
“Where did you get those pictures?!?”
As calmly and as composed as anyone could possibly be in such a situation, my friend explains that her boyfriend sent her the pictures.
“Your boyfriend? I took those pictures of my boyfriend when we went skiing last weekend.”
The din of the restaurant becomes a little quieter. My friend stands up to face this girl who is at the very least 5 years her junior.
Okay, I know what you are thinking. There must be some mistake. There is more than one guy in the photo; surely this girl’s boyfriend must be one of the other guys in the picture with my friend’s boyfriend.
NO!
Same guy, and the buddies, just some random guys they met on the slopes and decided to have beers with.
OH MY GOD! Who does that? Who sends picture to one girl of a trip he took with another? OH MY GOD!
The two just stand there and stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, and then they both reach for their respective purses and the race for the cell phones is on. Change is dropping all over the floor, lipsticks are rolling across the table, and fingers are flying to find the number first on the speed dial. I cannot help but to giggle a little.
He does not answer either call of course, but I would pay money to see his face when he picks up those messages. Two messages from two angry women, with the other angry woman screaming in unison in the background. Cash! I would pay cash!
I get back to work and tell my assistant what happened and he shakes his head and says, “Men are scum.”
Okay if men think men are scum what chance do we have on finding one that is not? I fear it is hopeless, so no committed relationships for me.
Maybe I am just cynical, or maybe I am still in a funk about Valentine’s Day, but I have decided I will not commit myself to a man unless I am 100% positive he is committed to me. And I will only be convinced of that if he agrees to a 24/7 surveillance detail and to wear an electronic ankle bracelet. This is why….
After spending all day at home yesterday moping about Monday’s contrived holiday, I decided to take advantage of the break in the weather and have lunch with my girlfriend. She has been dating this guy for about 6 months, and even though all of us know there is something just not right about this guy, she has convinced herself he is the one.
Anyway, she is showing me pictures he sent to her of a ski weekend he took with his buddies, buddies she still has yet to meet. She is cooing over these pictures (he is very cute) when all of a sudden a girl walking back to her table from the bathroom yells,
“Where did you get those?!?”
We look around the restaurant because we cannot believe she is talking to us, but sure enough the girl is standing there pointing at the pictures in my friend’s hand and demands to know again,
“Where did you get those pictures?!?”
As calmly and as composed as anyone could possibly be in such a situation, my friend explains that her boyfriend sent her the pictures.
“Your boyfriend? I took those pictures of my boyfriend when we went skiing last weekend.”
The din of the restaurant becomes a little quieter. My friend stands up to face this girl who is at the very least 5 years her junior.
Okay, I know what you are thinking. There must be some mistake. There is more than one guy in the photo; surely this girl’s boyfriend must be one of the other guys in the picture with my friend’s boyfriend.
NO!
Same guy, and the buddies, just some random guys they met on the slopes and decided to have beers with.
OH MY GOD! Who does that? Who sends picture to one girl of a trip he took with another? OH MY GOD!
The two just stand there and stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, and then they both reach for their respective purses and the race for the cell phones is on. Change is dropping all over the floor, lipsticks are rolling across the table, and fingers are flying to find the number first on the speed dial. I cannot help but to giggle a little.
He does not answer either call of course, but I would pay money to see his face when he picks up those messages. Two messages from two angry women, with the other angry woman screaming in unison in the background. Cash! I would pay cash!
I get back to work and tell my assistant what happened and he shakes his head and says, “Men are scum.”
Okay if men think men are scum what chance do we have on finding one that is not? I fear it is hopeless, so no committed relationships for me.
posted by BrazenlyBad at 7:37 PM
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