Confession # 72

I about to make a decision that will change my whole life.

I was up most the night wrestling with the idea of telling my best friend (who happens to be a the sweetest man on the planet) that I think I like him more than just a friend.

Now I do not know how to really go about this. I most certainly do not want to destroy a great friendship, which this is, if things do not work out, or worse if he does not feel the same way. But it is getting to the point where I really do only want to spend all my time with him.

This whole thing has just snuck up on me I have been really happy just being by myself and dating some very wonderful men. Then boom! It hit me yesterday while I was on a date with someone else.

Last night as my date asked me a question that seemed reasonable, one that made sense considering the amount of time we had been dating and level of enjoyment we have been having. He asked if we could take it to the next level.

Now at this point in my life, I am not ready to get serious right now, or so I thought. I am in the middle of a remodel, training for a half marathon in October, and running two fundraisers that are back to back. No time for serious, easy breezy that I all want right now. That is the answer that I thought would just flow from me, sensitively and reassuringly. But that was not the answer that came out to mind. The only thing that came to my mind was my friend.

All evening I kept wondering what he was up to, kept wonder when he was coming back from his business trip, wishing he were with me.

What do I do? Do I just say it? What do I say? Do I say it in person, on the phone, in a text message?

I am so nervous, scared, and anxious. Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated.