Confession # 67

I have strict rules about one-night-stands.

Rule # 1 NEVER… EVER… STAY TILL MORNING!

Okay so I really only have one rule. But it is a good one!

Now the question is how do you get a guy out of your bed and on his way home with out seeming rude if he does not know this rule.

This was the topic for discussion over martinis last night. Here are the subtle hints we came up with to help the cute but stupid man making himself at home between your sheets understand that it is time to leave.

Things to say…

✿ Can I call you a cab?
✿ If you need a cab, the number is on speed dial.
✿ Your car keys are on the entry table.
✿ I have to be at work early tomorrow, would you be a doll and lock the door on your way out.
✿ I wish you could stay but I don’t have any coffee, eggs, juice or a kitchen, so if you want breakfast you should probably go home.

If he doesn’t get the hint, here are some things you can do…

✿ Make a phone call! Real or imagined.
✿ Excuse yourself to the bathroom and come back with a mud mask on and a big giant curler in you hair.
✿ Pull out a copy of Modern Bride. It can be 10 years old, he would never know.
✿ Grab your dog/cat or better yet a stuffed animal, talk to it in a baby voice, ask him to kiss it and then place in right in between the both of you in bed. That is if he is still in bed and not frantically looking for his pants.

If none of that works try this…

✿ Ask him if he loves you and when he gives you the “What?” look, start to cry!