Confession # 48
I spent the weekend in Marin with my running partner.
On Saturday, we decided we would hike up to Carlson Falls and have lunch. This was the most challenging hike I have done yet. There were truly moments when I thought I would just sit down in the woods and give into the elements, but my friend's strong hands helped me along. After an hour or two of trekking over steep tiny trails covered in loose gravel we reached the falls -- tired, hot and hungry. The waterfall was just a slow trickle but the pond at its base was cool and clear; my “newly manicured” copper colored toes shined like pennies in the water. About a dozen salamanders ran back and forth over our feet and turkey vultures cast thin shadows over our faces as they circled above. After lunch we scaled the mountainside next to the waterfall and entered a golden meadow with grass shoulder high. As we came over the last ridge we could see the sailboats in the bay and miles of green hills surrounding the tiny villages below. I was completely overwhelmed by the whole experience. It was the perfect moment and setting for a first kiss, but the spark is still not there.
What is wrong with me?!?
This is a man who is kind, intelligent, handsome, successful, and a true gentleman, but I just do not feel anything except a loving friendship.
I take this man to dinner parties, charity functions, backyard barbeques and women throw themselves at him. For days after an event I get phone calls asking me what is his story, are we a couple, would I mind if they called him. It amazes me. What am I not seeing? What am I missing?
Have we crossed that line into a friendship that now no other relationship is possible? If that moment at the top of the mountain did not open the door to something more, can anything?
On Saturday, we decided we would hike up to Carlson Falls and have lunch. This was the most challenging hike I have done yet. There were truly moments when I thought I would just sit down in the woods and give into the elements, but my friend's strong hands helped me along. After an hour or two of trekking over steep tiny trails covered in loose gravel we reached the falls -- tired, hot and hungry. The waterfall was just a slow trickle but the pond at its base was cool and clear; my “newly manicured” copper colored toes shined like pennies in the water. About a dozen salamanders ran back and forth over our feet and turkey vultures cast thin shadows over our faces as they circled above. After lunch we scaled the mountainside next to the waterfall and entered a golden meadow with grass shoulder high. As we came over the last ridge we could see the sailboats in the bay and miles of green hills surrounding the tiny villages below. I was completely overwhelmed by the whole experience. It was the perfect moment and setting for a first kiss, but the spark is still not there.
What is wrong with me?!?
This is a man who is kind, intelligent, handsome, successful, and a true gentleman, but I just do not feel anything except a loving friendship.
I take this man to dinner parties, charity functions, backyard barbeques and women throw themselves at him. For days after an event I get phone calls asking me what is his story, are we a couple, would I mind if they called him. It amazes me. What am I not seeing? What am I missing?
Have we crossed that line into a friendship that now no other relationship is possible? If that moment at the top of the mountain did not open the door to something more, can anything?
posted by BrazenlyBad at 6:28 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home